Do you want to have a strong marriage?

A few weeks ago I read a book review on Christianity Today. The book focused on the fact that there is in fact a major difference between Christian and non-Christian marriages. But that difference comes with a qualifier. I have been teaching this since reading research on “religiosity” back in the ‘70s and ‘80s, and have even developed part of the Spiritual Health Assessment to focus on this difference.

But I get ahead of myself.

Is there a difference between Christian marriages and marriages in the world (I speak of the US here) in general? The answer that is generally given is a resounding “No!”. Statistics show that there is no difference in categories such as divorce rate, marital satisfaction, even abuse, between couples who say they are Christian and couples in general. This has been true for a long time.

But the fact is, there is and always has been a difference between certain Christian marriages and the others—and marriages in general. That difference is whether the couple simply says they are Christian or in fact live as disciples of Jesus together.

For example, let’s say John and Mary are married, and both say they are Christian. Maybe John even prays a lot and Mary also has a strong prayer life. The question is about their marriage, not about them individually. So, even though they may both pray often and meaningfully, the question is, do they pray together? The same question can be asked about worship, Bible study, service, and so one—the practices we call the essentials of spiritual health, but have historically been called spiritual disciplines, and which sociologists have labeled “religiosity”.

The fact is that couples who act like disciples of Jesus by not only worshiping, praying, studying the Word, and serving others, but who do these things together, have generally stronger and more satisfying marriage. This is because they are practicing marriage as Christians, not just the same way people in the world do.

This is not a guarantee that doing these things together will automatically change your marriage. The fact is there may be other things you need to repent of or heal from as well. But Christian marriages begin with showing love of Jesus through obedience together!

The Essential Faith Project offers a free resource to assist you in looking at this aspect of your marriage, The Spiritual Health Assessment. With this tool you can answer appx. 25 questions individually (both husband and wife) to get a profile of your spiritual health based on the essentials of spiritual health. Once each has completed the individual assessment, if they have registered together as spouses, they can now take the marriage assessment. This helps them look at the same categories as the individual assessment, but with regard to their marriage. To register for the Spiritual Health Assessment, go to https://essentialfaithproject.org/spiritual-health-assessment/.

Christian marriages should be stronger than those in the world for the simple reason that we serve the one who created marriage! But this won’t happen just because we say we are Christian. It requires loving obedience to the King as well!

Know Jesus and Be Faithful!

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